I got my postal voting forms a while ago and today got round to deciding on who to vote for. However, as I was about to mark the boxes I discovered this really patronising letter from one of the candidates detailing how I should vote! There aren't any letters from the other candidates! Having been attacked charity-mugger-style by the man on Sun I'm already not too keen on him... Is this allowed? It seems a bit unfair.

(Kingston was quite the place to meet "celebs" last weekend. I saw Christian O'Connell on Sat... the Xfm breakfast DJ...).

Tags: election

Gwyneth Paltrow has named her baby girl Apple. I mean, that's just asking for abuse! Any guesses on the middle names? Cider, Juice, Schnapps? Maybe Apple is the middle name and she's actually called "Bad"? There must be some logic to it! Is it because Gywneth's real name is "Tree" and apples don't fall far from the tree...? Hmmm. Is it that she craved apples during the pregnancy? I'm just glad that I was called David, especially since my mum craved tomatoes and this stuff the taiwanese love to eat called smelly tofu. (It's actually quite nice.) Perhaps there was a little oversight with my chinese name though i.e. with it being "ha" which can be literally translated as "leisure pavilion". That's right, I'm a Butler in a pavilion of leisure. Maybe it's fate, as I'm writing this at my bachelor pad in a fairly leisurely manner. I'm not joking, there are blocks of flats in Taipei called my name ~~and a dodgy motel or two I bet~~.

Related: Gwyneth Paltrow, Apple

[remarks 2]

This is cool. Go to church online.

See also: church

[have your say]

On the look out for music you like? Here's a good place to start.

Tags: music, AudioScrobbler

[comments]

A panda eats in a cafe. He finishes his sandwich, fires a gun in the air and walks towards the door. When the waiter asks in confusion what he thinks hes doing, the panda throws him a badly punctuated book on wildlife: "Panda. Large black-and-white bear-like mammal, native to China. Eats, shoots and leaves".

I mention this old joke because I got asked by a colleague whether the word "supplied" has one 'p' or two today. It's shocking what gets misspelled and worse, gets mispronounced in a technology company!

Related: joke, grammar

[remarks]

One of my colleagues got married yesterday. I wonder what the new wife would make of this Good Wife's Guide

If vampires did exist...

... where would they work? My colleagues and I were offered the afternoon off work last week if we went to the blood bank. I thought it was a pretty good deal. Turned out to be an absolute bargain. Two of them fainted and one (I'm not kidding) spraying a couple of jets of his precious life blood all over the sparklingly clean white shirt of the guy jabbing him. I really have to get one of those camera phones. I didn't faint, basically because I'm rock hard. The guy jabbing me kept on saying "You've got really tough skin, mate! You should be a boxer!" Thanks for the pep talk, mate. Anyway, I think that's pretty Christ-like especially at Easter. Here's the website. Go donate! ~~But try not to faint!~~

Related: blood

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