What I really didn't want to happen for Christmas happened on Christmas Eve. I did something I always do without fail - I turned the handle to flush the toilet (...don't worry kids, this isn't rude) which, as expected, started the flush. What wasn't anticipated was my superhuman strength which caused the fairly solid metal handle to shear right off, causing it to plop into the swirling mini rapids of the bowl and flush itself down the U-bend. Thankfully, Santa sent round a helpful plumber which was kind especially as around Christmas it must get pretty busy. Don't know what I would've done otherwise... The tank was sealed shut and I didn't have a bucket (what with shops being closed) to chuck water down the toilet to initiate any kind of flush... Hmmm, I'm struggling to find any semi-relevant links to this little tale, except of course that a search for "toilet accident" turns up some amusing horrific stories. Anyway, that's probably enough about toilets, I seem to talk about them every month. They really are a blessing though!

By
Christmas