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The wife won't be pleased

Two Chinese brothers are trapped in a mine... no, this isn't the start of a joke. They survived for five days without food and fresh water, but their sense of humour remained intact. You have to read the full story to see which bit (I hope) might have lost some meaning in translation, because describing one's wife in such an ungracious way seems very un-Chinese!

Tags: China, joke

1

All time best April Fool's Day gags

Don't forget it's April Fool's Day today so don't get duped! Some of the most memorable jokes are retold here.

Related: April Fools, joke

12

Jokes for your particular sense of humour.

See also: joke

[06:39][have your say]

11

A panda eats in a cafe. He finishes his sandwich, fires a gun in the air and walks towards the door. When the waiter asks in confusion what he thinks hes doing, the panda throws him a badly punctuated book on wildlife: "Panda. Large black-and-white bear-like mammal, native to China. Eats, shoots and leaves".

I mention this old joke because I got asked by a colleague whether the word "supplied" has one 'p' or two today. It's shocking what gets misspelled and worse, gets mispronounced in a technology company!

Tags: joke, grammar

[13:18][comments]

16

The M25 and the M1 are chatting in the pub.
"I'm the hardest tarmac, ever! I'm rock hard," boasted the M1.
"Yes Bob, you're rock hard," agreed the M25.
"My middle name is 'Hard'," and just to prove it the M1 downs a pint in one.
Just as he's put the glass back on the bar a red piece of tarmac walks into the pub and orders a pint.
The M1 dives under the nearest table and stays there quivering until the red tarmac leaves.
"What was that all about then?" asks M25, "I thought you were really hard?!"
"Yeah, b-b-but that guy's a cycle-path!"

Related: joke

[11:45][remarks]

20

President Bush and Colin Powell are sitting in a bar.

A guy walks in and asks the barman, "Isn't that Bush and Powell sitting over there?"

The barman says, "Yep, that's them."

So the guy walks over and says, "Wow, this is a real honour. What are you guys doing in here?"

Bush says, "We're planning World War III."

And the guy says, "Really? What's going to happen?"

Bush says, "Well, we're going to kill 10 million Iraqis this time and one blonde with big breasts.

The guy exclaimed, "A blonde with big breasts? Why kill a blonde with big breasts?"

Bush turns to Powell, punches him on the shoulder and says, "See, I told you no one would worry about the 10 million Iraqis!"

See also: Bush, Iraq, joke

[19:27][have your say]